Hate to be Rude: Annika Sorenstam

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Jeff Rude’s “I Hate To Be Rude” column appears on on Wednesday, the same day as his video show of the same name.

SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. – Pat Perez’s victory party hasn’t ended yet. It was just temporarily interrupted by a sleepy-eyed practice round Tuesday at the FBR Open.

“I haven’t slept much for a couple of days, but you only win the first time once,” the champion of the 50th Bob Hope Classic said after a spin through TPC Scottsdale. “We’re going to have a little shindig tonight, and that’s about it. I’ll have to go to work again on Thursday.”

A day job cutting short a four-night bash? Work getting in the way of fun? Don’t you just hate that?

• Even if he’s sobered up and rested, don’t look for Perez to win again this week. How do we know this? Because he told us.

“I just don’t play the course well,” Perez said. “Nothing fits me eye out there. These guys shoot 25 under out there, and I’m lucky to break par.”

The way Perez is going with his improved game, though, he probably could break par after emptying yet another bottle of champagne.

• Speaking of the good stuff, Tommy Armour III gave his pal Perez a bottle of Cristal champagne to sip out of by the 18th green at the Hope. But Armour wasn’t allowed to spray his buddy with the bubbly.

Why? Well, you may recall that a policeman dragged down muscular shaman Jim Weathers from behind when he sprayed RBC Canadian Open winner Chez Reavie by the 18th green. Weathers sued the Tour after suffering injury.

Prohibiting joyful spraying after something like that makes about as much sense as banning the fist pump after someone tweaks an arm muscle. Can we please celebrate a little bit? What is this, the No Fun League? Even the NFL allows Gatorade ice dumps on coaches.

“I told the Tour they made a bad judgment call,” Armour said. “We could’ve shown a little life and excitement at a Tour event where the average age was deceased.”

• It seems fitting that a tournament in a country that some pronounce “cutter” (Qatar) was won by someone (Alvaro Quiros) with sideburns resembling long switchblades.

• Rich Lerner of the Golf Channel, an astute observer who thinks outside the box, was on to something when he said there’s one other thing that could really prop up golf during these hard times besides the dreamy idea of Tiger Woods playing every Tour event he has never visited:

Camilo Villegas on Dancing With the Stars.

If Villegas is unavailable, Tim Herron would be an entertaining substitute.

• The famed par-3 16th at TPC Scottsdale has been fully enclosed this year for the first time, making it something of a loud amphitheater full of well-served spectators.

Gladiator meets golf.

The full-stadium effect should make the scene sound even louder. But then it seems to be more raucous annually because of a “can-you-top-this” mentality. The term is “feeding frenzy.”

“Everyone keeps saying it’s the loudest hole in golf and everyone is crazy, so everyone continues to do more every year to make it as loud and obnoxious as possible,” Perez said.

Perez, himself, might have to be careful. The festive mood he’s in, he might be tempted to tee off on 16 and then hop into the stands for yet another refreshment.

• Is golf really this easy? The Hope yielded 36 rounds of 63 or better last week.

Were they skipping holes?

• The Hope was a confidence booster for just about everyone’s game. David Duval, in a prolonged slump, shot 14 under par for 72 holes (missing the cut by a shot). Believe it or not, that’s the most under par he has been in a Tour event since he finished 25 under at the 2002 Las Vegas Invitational.

That, you may recall, was back when Duval was Duval.

• Stick around long enough and you never know what you might hear. Consider this quote:

“My golf game is not good. Occasionally I hit a good shot. I’m like the everyday golfer that goes out and walks up the 18th hole and all of a sudden he hits a shot or makes a putt and can’t wait to get back the next day. But it is not competitive anymore for me.”

Arnold Palmer didn’t used to talk like that.

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