Golfweek

Beth Ann Baldry: Whan, LPGA needs to capitalize

Alistair Tait: Does LPGA’s future hinge on Wie? (July 29, 2009)

Welcome to the Monday Scramble, the first-ever Monday following professional titles by both Tiger Woods and – drumroll, please – Michelle Wie.

The result? Madness – complete and utter Michelle Madness – even if some of the following reports remain unconfirmed (And we can’t even begin to imagine what would have happened if Rickie Fowler had also won):

• For one, Woods, at least for a day, became an afterthought. He won in Australia just after midnight Sunday on the East Coast, beating guys like Greg Chalmers and Francois Delamontagne; Wie, perhaps the most hyped golfer/human of all time, won her first event as a professional, edging LPGA stars Paula Creamer, Cristie Kerr, Morgan Pressel and Jiyai Shin.

Somewhere, a Nike Swoosh turned to a smile.

• New LPGA commissioner Michael Whan, who watched the end to the Lorena Ochoa Invitational from church, ordered his marketing team to officially make changes to the LPGA logo.

• Former LPGA commish Carolyn Bivens texted Wie: “thx.”

• Insiders say New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick was so overcome by the news of Wie’s victory that he forgot ...

Welcome to the Monday Scramble, fresh off a major celebrity sighting.

Get this: We were fortunate enough to find ourselves in the Orlando International Airport Sunday morning, waiting for our golf clubs to come out of the oversized baggage chute alongside none other than Lee Janzen – The People’s Champion.

What else to call a two-time major winner that still flys Southwest?

(Oops, that was a pre-2008 U.S. economy joke.)

• • •

Did you hear? Phil Mickelson took down Tiger Woods this weekend and won the world!

Actually, it was just a World Golf Championship, but, uh, yeah, you know.

Slow week...

• • •

But really, thank goodness Phil Mickelson has a few majors in his pocket at this point, or else we’d have to try to find deeper meaning in that WGC-HSBC Champions victory he picked up in Shanghai.

In November.

Instead, we can just scrape the surface, give in to the hype and surmise that he will putt his way to the Grand Slam next year.*

*To be updated on the evening of April 11, 2010.

• • •

WGC-HSBC:

Whoa!

Golf

Can

Have

Some

Big-time fun in

China

• • •

We really think Tiger Woods should listen ...

ORLANDO, Fla. – It’s great to be back in the Home of the Brave and the Land of the Free Tee. The differences between British and American golf never ceases to amaze me.

I’ve gotten used to playing golf in the United States. So I didn’t think it odd that the first thing we did was strap golf clubs onto a golf cart when we arrived at the golf club. As usual, there was no discussion about whether or not we should walk the golf course. Not in the good ol’ USA.

Why walk when you can let the cart take strain?

Carts on golf courses are a rarity in the United Kingdom. In the States they are a given.

No problem, though; When in Rome, I thought. So I hopped on the cart and we headed for the first tee. That’s when I learned of another difference between golf in the U.S. and the U.K.: the breakfast ball.

What’s a breakfast ball? Basically, it’s a mulligan. One of my playing companions hit his first tee shot into a fairway bunker and immediately announced he was going to play “a breakfast ball.” So ...

Welcome to the Monday Scramble, still cleaning up after our 3rd Annual Golf-Themed Halloween Party – where, as you can see, creativity has gone to die:

Seriously, not one Walrus, Great White Shark or even a Jim Nance.

Not even a green jacket.

And every year they wonder why Natalie Gulbis never shows up.

• • •

Not surprisingly, we invited a bunch of golf industry peeps to the shindig, but they decided to trick-or-treat elsewhere. We got the inside scoop on some of their costumes anyway:

• Gary Player: A treadmill

• Justin Timberlake: Tom Watson

• Michael Jordan: Smokey the Bear

• New LPGA commish Michael Whan: Optimus Prime (from “Transformers.)

• Old LPGA commish Carolyn Bivens: Michael Whan

• Rory McIlory: American teen/PGA Tour member

• Stewart Cink: Twitter

• Donald Trump: Diamond-encrusted, gold-plated divot repair tool

• Leonardo DiCaprio: Rickie Fowler

• Tim Finchem: Rickie Fowler

• And of course, Christina Kim, as told via Twitter: “I popped on a pair of pink kitty ears bc I left my goddess dress n gladiator shoes at home by accident. Yup. Happy Halloween indeed.”

(Did you have a good golf costume, or at least a real one? E-mail your pictures to mondayscramble@gmail.com.)

• • •

Not that you noticed, but the Viking Classic ...

In your life, have you ever seen anything like Jamie Lovemark’s submarine act at the Frys.com Open?

His approach shot on the 18th hole at Grayhawk Golf Club, the first hole of a playoff with Rickie Fowler and Troy Matteson, sailed into the water, hit the concrete bottom, then bounced out and left into the rough, hanging out on the shore just as Lovemark has done his whole life in his hometown of Rancho Santa Fe, Calif.

What!?!

We definitely haven’t seen anything that crazy move in and out of a water hazard since Woody Austin.

Move over, Aquaman. This was way cooler.

You might remember that Lovemark, a big surfing junkie, once appeared on the cover of Golfweek’s College Preview issue in his USC uniform, hitting a shot on the beach while standing on a surfboard.

So he knows a thing or two about thrashing through water.

But that Lovemark’s golf ball heard him scream “Surf’s up” just as it fell below the surface is still only a rumor.

There were a lot of double-takes on the 18th hole Sunday. Golf Channel viewers first were told by Brandel Chamblee that Fowler’s drive ...

Welcome to the Monday Scramble. It’s been a crazy couple weeks for us here, watching how quickly Rickie Fowler has turned into a PGA Tour titan.

It’s only a titanic achievement, of course, racking up $553,700 in just two weeks on Tour and forcing the Golf Channel to run graphics that show your smiling mug shot adjacent one of hearthrob/Academy Award winner Leonardo DiCaprio.

Not to make your hearts sink like a steamship, ladies, but you should know that Fowler was driving his girlfriend to the airport Sunday evening when we spoke to him after his playoff loss at the Frys.com Open, where he played the first five holes of his final round in 5 under, including a hole-in-one.

“I haven’t heard it myself,” Fowler said about the Golf Channel’s Leo look-a-like contest, “but I’ve heard that (comparison) before.”

And as far as being the “PGA Tour’s answer to the Jonas Brothers,” as one Golf Channel announcer put it during Sunday’s broadcast?

“Uh...”

What, you don’t have their CD?

“Yeah, uh... I don’t have any of their songs.”

There’s only one correct way to rate Fowler’s ...

Welcome to the Monday Scramble, always wicked pumped to see a 59 on the scoreboard. That it was posted by the New England Patriots in their avalanching of the Tennessee Titans only makes it a dumb golf joke.

• • •

Which brings us to the new Mr. 59, Mr. Tom Giselle Bundchen Brady, who over the last few weeks had been questioned more than Ian Poulter’s Twitter account.

On Sunday, Brady and his recently-repaired ACL threw five touchdown passes – in the second quarter.

Remind you of someone? (That isn’t a tough one, being of the $100 Celebrity “Jeopardy” nature.)

Who is... Tiger Woods?

Ding ding.

Please note: The only time you should question Tiger Woods, or Tom Brady for that matter, is when providing Alex Trebek with a correctly-phrased answer (or question) on “Jeopardy.”

Still, way too many people questioned Tiger Woods this season, especially after he didn’t win in his first two events and missed the cut at the British Open.

Will he ever be the same?

Ding-dong.

Go make Emancipation Proclamations to your friends about Kerry Collins and Rocco Mediate.

Declaring guys like Tiger and Tom (living, breathing sports legends with less than 12 gray hairs apiece ...

Just saw another replay of Tiger Woods’ 225-yard 3-iron to the 18th green Saturday at the Presidents Cup.

I laughed out loud.

Unless Freddie Couples plays the Silly Season in a clown suit, I think it will go down as my favorite memory of the year.

Attention Converse (yes, Converse): Here’s your no-brainer commercial:

• FRAME 1: Tiger sets up over his ball, swings and, two seconds after impact, twirls his club and paces furiously toward the hole with his arms outstretched as if to say, “I win.” (See video below.)

• FRAME 2: The screen goes dark, and then the following sentence appears: “I am Larry Bird.”

• FRAME 3: Tiger’s ball lands 8 feet from the hole.

• FRAME 4: [Converse logo.] “The Original.”

Everyone in existence knows the Tiger Twirl signals a great golf shot; but I have to agree with NBC’s Dan Hicks that this one just seemed more confident than usual.

This was the Tiger Twirl-a-rama, coming soon to a mall parking lot carnival near you.

My brain immediately dug up the footage of the 1988 NBA 3-Point Competition, which Larry Bird concluded by draining his last three shots, walking toward center court with his right ...

IRVING, Texas – Tiger Woods watched the band and hung out with Cowboys.

Woods worked out in the Dallas Cowboys’ weight room at their Valley Ranch facility on Tuesday, a day after watching the U2 concert at Cowboys Stadium in a suite shared by Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo and right end Jason Witten.

During the concert Monday night, U2 singer Bono mentioned Woods, Romo and Witten being there.

Cowboys coach Wade Phillips says he enjoyed the opportunity to speak with Woods, who “talked about being a leader.”

On Sunday in San Francisco, Woods helped the United States win the Presidents Cup, becoming the third player to go 5-0 in the team event.

Reason No. 53 Y.E. Yang has hit the mainstream.

On “The Jay Leno Show” Monday night, Leno had guest Justin Timberlake on for his “10 at 10” segment. The premise is simple: The guest answers 10 questions on random topics. Comedy ensues.

It worked perfectly for Timberlake, who is hosing the Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospital for Children Open this week and was appearing via satellite from a Las Vegas golf course.

Leno peppered Timberlake early with a questions about growing up in Tennessee and his days on the Mickey Mouse Club, then veered towards golf.

Question No. 8: You’re an avid golfer. Can you name 10 PGA Tour players in 15 seconds?

After taking a deep breath, Timberlake started rattling off names as a clock ticked down.

“Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, Anthony Kim, Jim Furyk, Camilo Villegas . . . uh, uh . . . Kenny Perry, Hunter Mahan, Nick Watney, Steve Sticker . . . uh, uh . . .”

And then right as time expired, Timberlake yelled out, “Y.E. YANG, FOOL!”

The crowd laughed. Leno looked stunned. Timberlake nearly high-fived himself.

One problem: Yang is not in the field at Shriners. What, no sponsor’s exemption?

Welcome to the Monday Scramble. What did we learn this weekend?

That it was a bad weekend for your best friend to get married. From the Olympics announcement to the storyline-filled Presidents Cup, there was certainly a lot we missed while stuffing our face with Surf n’ Turf.

In other words, the DVR was sending off Swoosh-like smoke signals when we got home Sunday evening, and we have a busy week of couchtime ahead.

Fortunately, one of our Scramble interns volunteered to hitchhike his way from Orlando to San Francisco in order to take some pictures to keep you busy in the meantime.

Looks like Michael Jordan had fun... eh?

A seventh ring for MJ?

Poor Adam Scott...

Say cheese!

What’s an Olympic announcement without him?

Need a tissue?

– AP photos/Golfweek illustrations

Welcome to the Monday Scramble, as of this weekend the biggest consumers of Kleenex on the East Coast.

Greg Norman-Chris Evert and Justin Timberlake-Jessica Biel splitting up the same week?

Come on.

Next you’ll tell us Timberlake is getting a $10 million bonus to call Biel his FedEx.

• • •

A couple thoughts from the week that was...

• Rio de Janeiro beat out Chicago and a couple other big cities to win hosting duties of the 2016 Olympics. Later this week the International Olympic Committee will consider adding golf as an Olympic sport beginning with those games.

With Rio being one of the biggest soccer (er, football) cities in the world, we can only imagine what might happen...

Folf!

• All these beer-can crunching-and-dousing victory celebrations on the LPGA tour (like Lorena Ochoa’s on Sunday) need to stop immediately. When broken open, tin cans are dangerous and will slice and dice anything in their way. We love seeing celebrations on the green – not fingers.

• • •

Top 5 possible (or impossible) storylines that would make this week at the Presidents Cup a little more interesting:

• 5. Just days after right shoulder surgery, Greg Norman inserts himself into the lineup for all five ...

Tiger Woods’s $10 million FedEx Cup bonus put him over the $1 billion career earnings mark (including prize money, appearance fees, endorsements, bonuses and his golf course design business), according to a Sept. 29 report on Forbes.com.

How to put this into terms you can probably understand?

Well, with that much money, Tiger could purchase more than 74,500 five-month-old female tigers ($13,400 apiece) from the Web site BuyTigers.com, “the ONLY ONES IN THE WORLD selling tigers online.”

According to the site, a tiger “is probably the strongest feline predator on earth, but you will discover that it can be a lovely pet as well, loyal, friendly and TOTALLY HARMLESS."

They say money can’t buy you happiness, but if you own 74,500 tigers, surely you can name one of them “Happiness.”

Or “Harmless.”

Big breaking news here: The Oct. 9 “Bodies” issue of ESPN the Magazine will not feature Tiger Woods – at least not without clothes on.

CNBC’s sports business reporter Darren Rovell posted on his Twitter page today that “ESPN’s Gary Belsky (ESPN the Mag’s Editor-in-Chief) says mag ‘probably’ asked Tiger Woods to pose for the Body Issue and his team ‘probably’ turned them down.”

The issue, perhaps a response by ESPN to Sports Illustrated’s popular swimsuit issue, will feature a bunch of athletes in the buff – but tastefully (artfully, craftily, etc.) covered or positioned.

You probably have heard by now that the list of “Bodies” includes LPGA players Sandra Gal, Anna Grzebien and Christina Kim.

Still no word, however, if Henrik “Skivvies” Stenson or John “Shoes and Shirts are Not Required to do this TV Interview” Daly made the cut.

Welcome to the Monday Scramble, feeling at least $11.352984 million richer just for watching those ol’ FedExies (our new nickname for the whole shebang because we feel weird calling them “playoffs”).

• • •

With all those different victory scenarios that NBC floated to viewers Sunday, there were two that really revved our golf carts:

• If Steve Stricker finished in third and Tiger Woods in fourth – they would have had gone to a playoff for the $10 million prize.

• If Tiger cursed on the 12th tee 11.7 seconds before Phil Mickelson fist-bumped an 82-year-old man on his walk to the 13th green as two rare birds, an Olive-sided Flycatcher and Black-bellied Whistling-Duck, performed a loop-the-loop over the East Lake clubhouse at the same time Stewart Cink posted a Tweet that included the words “onomatopoeia” and “sheepdog” – Tim Finchem’s left foot would have won the FedEx Cup by two-thirds of a point.

• • •

For the record, we’re just as sick of talking about the current FedEx Cup format as anyone. Yet once again the excitement level surrounding its conclusion – the Playoffs, not the event – was comparable to Marc Leishman’s par on No. 8 Sunday. (He didn’t chip in or ...