Welcome to the Monday Scramble, the first Monday of ’09. Like most of this good ol’ country, we here at the Scramble are looking forward to the New Year, despite ending 2008 on a high note with this e-mail from a faithful Scramble reader about our final Scramble of the year: “If this is serious, it is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. If it supposed to be funny, it failed at that. A waste of time.”
As always, we thank you for reading, and promise to continue to provide you stuff (“stuff” gives us some leeway) every Monday morning that will help you feel more like a PGA Tour pro getting paid $25,000/hour for a Monday outing. (Seriously!)
Fortunately, we’ve stumbled across a money tree of sorts that should help stock the Scramble, and rock your morning Cup o’ Joe for several weeks this year: John Daly’s songbook.
Get this: It just so happens that when PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem last week gave John Daly – the man who likes to hold his guitar almost as much as his golf clubs (or his Miller Lite) – the boot for six months, his book of songs went flying like-a-cow-in-“Twister”-style down I-95 and landed on our Florida doorstep.
Not only is it full of songs of PGA Tour past and present, but there was also on the back cover a password to a secret portal on Big John’s Web site that will let us in on all the new songs he writes from now until eternity.
Accordingly, the first Daly tune we’d like to share with you seems to be a recap of sorts, a look back at John-John’s 2008 on the PGA Tour, with some
subtle hints about the next six months.
Daly tentatively titled the song, “Sweet Home Europe-bama,” so it seems safe to hum along to this jam with a “Sweet Home Alabama” instrumental dancing in your heads. Enjoy!
• • •
Title: Sweet Home Euro-bama
Artist: JD
Album: N/A
(Note: All of the notes Daly scribbled to himself throughout the song are in parentheses.)Big ol’ Finchie, he was burnin’
Sent me packin’, dude says I’ve sinned
Singin’ songs about the homeland
We’re all Europeans in the end
At least that’s what this bartender at Hooters said, yeah
Heck, the Tour say they don’t want me
Heck, the economy is going down
Heck, I hope Timmy will remember
You ain’t got no circus without the clowns
(toss golf ball into the air and hit it into crowd with guitar)
Sweet home Euro-bama
Where they say Guinness is good for you
Sweet Home Euro-bama
JD’s coming home to you
In Birmingham, England they love the big man
‘Cause when you’re Champion Golfer of the Year they have to
Sick of watching “Tiger Week” on the Golf Channel
Wonder is he’s ever done an interview in the nude
Well, I mean half-nude
Sweet home Euro-bama
Where no one really gives a hoot
(hold up to crowd Page 3 of a british tabloid)
Sweet Home Euro-bama
(ask Monty what Euro Tour commish’s name is), I’m coming home to you
Now when I’m smashed just like a camera
Skippin’ pro-ams just ‘cause I can
Don’t forget I won two majors
That’s right Butch Harmon, I’m the man
Are you the man?
Sweet home Euro-bama
America, yeah they’ve got more countries than you
Sweet home Euro-bama
How I’ll play, don’t have a clue
Don’t have a clue, yeahhhhhh
Sweet home Euro-bama
Oh sweet home baby
Where there’s no Honda Classic to sue
And the skies are so blue – I mean gray
Sweet home Euro-bama
Get ready y'all, I am coming home to you
E-mail the Monday Scramble: mondayscramble@gmail.com
Posted: 1/5/2009
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