Welcome to the Monday Scramble. We’ll be with you right after we finish tipping our cap to Annika Sorenstam. While we don’t necessarily understand the timing of her announcement, we can only respect it.
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THIS WEEK’S SPECIAL: We here at the Monday Scramble received an interesting e-mail this week from
Men’s Fitness magazine promoting their “Annual 25 Fittest Guys in America Issue.”
Now, we aren’t usually too keen on giving in to such publicity, but this was a situation where we felt the need to chime in.
The connection here is that Tiger Woods tops this year’s list, which according to the magazine, means he rules “in and out of the gym” more than anyone else.
For those of us in the golf world, this is old news. Fitness-wise, Woods has changed the game. Because of Tiger, guys like The Walrus will soon go extinct on the PGA Tour.
Totally. We get it.
For those reasons,
Men’s Fitness nailed it. Woods deserves the honor, if not a lifetime achievement award. Good show. Strong choice. Two biceps up.
Our only concern then comes with some of the reasoning involved, which popular golf blogger Geoff Shackelford went so far as to say was “apparently penned by frat pledges.”
Of course, there is nothing we here at the Scramble enjoy more than a good-natured chuckle on golf’s behalf (See: David Letterman’s “Top 10 Reasons Annika Sorenstam Is Retiring”), and we understand the need for a lighter side of journalism.
But while we can at least make sense of most of
Men’s Fitness’s examples, even though they don’t have much to do with working out or staying healthy and feature some words that we’ve had to censor, (i.e. “Because he made himself better, even while he was clearly the best” or “Because he’s walking history” or “Because even the icons say he’s the best” or “Because he’s making all the money” or “Because he has a [very] hot wife” or “Because he’s the first golfer who’s jacked, and has the [gumption] to show it off” or “Because he has all the toys”), a few of them just don’t resonate at all:
• “Because he made us care about a sport we didn’t think was, well, a sport.”
• “Because he’s the first golfer we’ve ever thought of as an athlete.”
• “Because he raised the bar and made pro golfers care about winning again.”
Three unnecessary, run-of-the-mill jabs that speak for themselves. Fore!
Accordingly, we here at the Scramble respectfully ask
Men’s Fitness to at least entertain the following addendums next time:
• Because he won when everyone thought he wouldn’t at last year’s brutally uncomfortable PGA Championship, shooting a final-round 1-under 69 on the hottest day of the hottest major championship on record (102 degrees with a heat index of 110) to hold off Ernie Els and Woody Austin.
• Because he made the mock turtleneck cool again.
• Because of him, top-notch junior golfers now wake up at 5 o’clock in the morning to hit the gym before school.
• Because the last time he came back from knee surgery, he won three of his first four tournaments.
• Because he was the first athlete to get Gatorade to name a drink after him.
• Because somehow, he is even more mentally fit than he is physically.
• And because his wife is pretty.
• • •
QUOTES OF THE WEEK:“I’m leaving the game on my own terms. I felt it was my responsibility to the LPGA and to the fans to let them know now. I want to be fair to everyone. I have other priorities. . . . I’m happy, content and at peace.”
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Annika Sorenstam, who announced here retirement Tuesday
“She bench-pressed 145 pounds (last) Wednesday. That’s the good-old days right there. This has nothing to do with her ability.”
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Kai Fusser, Sorenstam’s trainer
“I don’t know how they do this. I looked up some search on Google and I was the fifth most searched name on Google on Saturday and I guess ninth on Sunday. Now, I don’t know what that means. A lot of it was like ‘Survivor,’ who won ‘Survivor,’ and me. So I could make the argument that I lost ‘Survivor.’ But that’s just insanity. I’m shocked that that many people could spell my name right, let alone care enough to go to Google and find out where I live or whatever you find on Google, hopefully good things.”
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Paul Goydos, on his popularity spike after losing in a playoff to Sergio Garcia at the Players Championship
“It was a bit of an awkward stance, but I never gave a thought to falling in. The momentum on the followthrough took me in. It wasn’t that cold. And I was a good swimmer in my youth.”
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Richard Finch, who shot a 2-under 70 after falling into a river on the last hole Sunday to win the Irish Open by two strokes for his second European Tour victory of the season
“I had eggs, chicken, toast, grits and a double order of hash browns. Gotta have the double order of hash browns.”
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David Duval, when asked what he ordered for breakfast at the Waffle House during last week’s AT&T Classic in Duluth, Ga.
“They need to win badly. I hope the Americans win this year in all seriousness. ... I see the Ryder Cup getting very boring because we are beating them so badly. Everybody is losing interest. I think it will be good if they win the next one. It would give the Ryder Cup a lift. ... I just hope the matches are a little bit closer because they have been no-contests. My heart is always with the Europeans but my head is with the Americans for the good of the trophy.”
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Seve Ballesteros, as told to the
Daily Mirror“I didn’t want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf,” he said. “I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal.”
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President George W. Bush, on his decision to stop playing golf after the August 2003 bombing of the United Nations headquarters in Baghdad
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FROM THE INTERVIEW ROOM: Q. Speaking of all your wins, I’m curious what you do with all your trophies. You’ve gotten quite a few the last few years. Where do you keep them?
LORENA OCHOA: This one my mom will put some flowers in (laughter).
Q. Do you have a room, a trophy room?
OCHOA: Yes, I’m sorry, I do. In the TV room we have all of the trophies, and then in another room in the house. But we have them all over the house. It is true that sometimes we put flowers in there, and some of them are under the bed.
Posted: 5/19/2008
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