Welcome to Golfweek.com’s inaugural Sunday crossword, created specifically for people too busy to finish the one in
The New York Times.
You will notice as the weeks go along that there is no particular format, only fun. To begin, random word association:
Hat.• Most popularly, Jesper Parnevik’s current headwear (see above), which must have been pulled from the same place the Swede keeps his swords and white doves and pretty models that like to get cut in half with swords and disappear.
It’s what Charlie Chaplin would buy with a J. Lindeberg gift certificate. Perhaps David Copperfield, too.
I like it. It’s better than those upturned bicycle caps of old, which Parnevik chucked to keep the sun out of his eyes after having lasik surgery.
It fits him better, even though it doesn’t really seem to fit him at all. Am I right, Sweden?
Jesper has called it “a Chicago mob hat.” (Or “hatt,” as they say in Sweden.) If you haven’t caught on, I think it’s more a magic hat, the kind 40-somethings with “Magnificent” in their names pull very nice surprises from.
(Where do you think Elin Nordegren Woods – supposedly, Jesper’s former nanny – came from?)
Take the final round of this weekend’s Valero Texas Open, for example.
Jesper, who often lists “magic” as a hobby, pulled Paris Hilton-type stunts all day. He got into lots of trouble, and was barely punished.
“...I’m used to being in trouble, trust me,” said the Cat in the Cool Hat during his post-round press conference. “I’m not the best driver on Tour. I never have been.”
Accordingly, only a magician could have escaped from some of the places Parnevik hit it Sunday and still qualified for a playoff against Justin Leonard. He made more trees disappear than Paul Bunyan.
He chipped like wood. He punched like Tyson. He scored like Woods.
“Oh, yeah. It was a lot of strange things going on today,” said the Swede from Jupiter... Fla. “I mean the birdie I made on 15 probably will go down in history as one of my best birdies ever. The same thing on the par I made on 18 in the playoff.
“I don’t know.”
His father, Bo, one of Sweden’s most famous comedians, may have had something funny to say about all this, if I had his cell phone number.
“I kind of started wondering if this was going to be my week as many times as he was able to save par,” said Leonard, who played with Parnevik in Sunday’s final group.
Leonard eventually drained a 10-footer for birdie to beat Parnevik on the third playoff hole and win the tournament.
At first, I likened this to watching a Copperfield made-for-TV special, but with the Statue of Liberty falling on him in the end.
But then I realized something...
The $486,000 second-place check still bumped an unusually needy Parnevik from 138th to 94th on the money list, assuring him his Tour card for the 14th consecutive year.
I will not say Parnevik had a card under his sleeve.
Because it was probably in his hat.
•
Other famous hats from the past week: Leonard won his third Texas Open, which constitutes a unique hat-trick, one matched only by Arnold Palmer (who wears a crown, not a hat.)... The one from which Samsung World Championship officials
seemed to pick its upcoming field... The ones not sold at this week’s Longs Drugs Championship featuring the new “and improved” LPGA logo, which looks more suited for a future National Women’s Hockey League.
•
Word search: Using only letters from the names of each Sunday champion, uncover a type of hat:
Justin Leonard: _ _ _ _
Loren Roberts: _ _ _ _ _
Richard Johnson: _ _ _ _
Nick Dougherty: _ _ _ _ or
_ _ _ _ _
Suzann “Tutta” Pettersen: _ _ _ _ _(Answers below.)•
Tips o’ the hat: To Trip Kuehne, for winning
the U.S. Mid-Amateur Championship this week, his first USGA Championship. The title is much deserved, and I believe his ticket to a future Walker Cup captaincy. But it still doesn’t validate his selection to last September’s U.S. Walker Cup team. There were more deserving players.
... To this year’s U.S. Amateur champ Colt Knost, for making the cut in his first PGA Tour event as a professional. Knost finished tied for 49th at the Texas Open and took home a little over $10,000, despite carrying the pressure and expectations of an unopened invitation to the Masters.
At least now he can afford a 2008 grounds pass.
• • •
Word search answers:Justin Leonard: Rain.
Loren Roberts: Beret.
Richard Johnson: Hard.
Nick Dougherty: Nike (or, Tiger).
Suzann “Tutta” Pettersen: Santa.
Posted: 10/7/2007
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