Finally, Michelle Wie and I have something in common.
We both shot 79s on our 18th birthdays.
Hers came Thursday during the first round of the Samsung World Championship at Bighorn Golf Club in Palm Desert, Calif. Mine more than a few years ago at Cherry Hill Golf Course in Amherst, Mass., right down the road from UMass.
Solid 9-hole muni.
Afterwards, I remember buying a scratch ticket or 10 at a local mini-mart, then two slices of chicken tortellini at Antonio’s Pizza. I returned to my dorm room, dug up my Intro to Astronomy workbook, then headed outside to the quad for Advanced Wiffle Ball.
When my mom called to wish me happy birthday, my roommate told her I was somewhere studying.
(We used the books for bases.)
When reporters asked Wie this week what she was doing to celebrate her birthday, the Stanford freshman said, “Go home and study. Basically, I have a lot of stuff to do. I have to read a book, so it should be an exciting birthday.”
Poor $20 million girl.
Thursday should have been better for her. Sure, a press conference would have been nice following my 5th-inning home run over the hippies in left field, but not on my birthday.
I’m not necessarily telling Michelle how she should have spent her 18th birthday weekend, but I don’t think finishing next-to-last at the Samsung World Championship was what she had in mind in a few years ago.
Here is kind of what I had envisioned:10:12 a.m.: Sleeping in dorm room, hits snooze button for fifth time, proclaiming, “It’s my birthday! Psychology can wait!”
12:12 p.m.: Hits snooze button for 87th time, thinking “It’s my birthday! David Leadbetter can wait!”
12:45: Gets out of bed, sits groggily in front of 100,000 GB laptop and illegally downloads music for party that night.
1:15: Enters Wilbur Dining Hall.
1:19: Sick of making her own waffles for the fifth consecutive day, tosses her tray of food into the garbage and Rollerblades to Stanford Dining services.
1:25: Loses balance after bumping into trash can and falls down, landing on her right wrist. Her excuse: “I thought I saw (Stanford alum) Sigourney Weaver playing Frisbee.”
1:39: Enters Stanford Dining services.
1:43: Purchases Stanford’s seven dining halls for undisclosed amount, calls Tiger Woods.
1:50: Confirms formation of Wie/Woods Stanford Dining Conglomerate, which will feature food from Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse, P.F. Chang’s, McCormick and Schmick’s, Starbucks and Ben & Jerry’s.
Rumors begin to swirl that free Gatorade will be also provided in all classrooms.
2:15: Approached by student reporter from
The Stanford Daily. (“Cute, but annoying,” she thinks.)
2:16: Fed up with recent negative media attention, tells reporter she doesn’t want to talk to “someone who probably can’t break 80 on a 9-hole course.”
2:30: Standing in front of Landau economics building, makes phone call: “Dad, I have Econ in 10 minutes, where are you?”
2:37: Enters classroom, holding her right wrist. Father, B.J., also enters, removes book, notebook and two pens from backpack, and places them on her desk.
2:56: Raises hand, answers professor’s question: “The cost of something is what you give up to get it...” she begins.
2:56: She hears two classmates chatting in the back of the classroom, and points to her father. “Quiet, please,” he says.
2:57: “Very, very, very good answer Michelle,” the professor responds. “You should end up doing very well in this class.”
3:30: As class is dismissed, one student is overheard saying to another, “Why does Professor Jackson keep praising that Michelle girl? She hasn’t even made Dean’s List yet.”
4:15: Pain in right wrist worsens.
4:45: Sitting in Intro to Humanities, shocked by announcement of pop quiz. (She had forgotten to finish her assigned readings from the prior week.)
4:46: Walks up to professor and says, “Sir, I hurt my wrist earlier today, and I am having trouble holding my pencil. I don’t think I can take this quiz today.”
Professor responds: “I’ve never heard that one before.”
4:50: Walks out of classroom and heads to Old Union building. Submits a course drop form.
5:54: Receives e-mail on iPhone from Stanford registrar: “Michelle, you have made an improper drop. Students may drop a class without penalty only prior to the first three weeks of the semester. Your only options are to stay in the class or withdraw, which would enter a ‘WD’ on your transcript.”
6:10: Calls agent.
6:15: Withdraws from Intro to Humanities.
7:45: Former economics professor sees her signing autographs in front of Jamba Juice.
7:46: Approached by reporter from
Stanford Daily, professor says “I just feel that there’s a little bit of lack of respect and class just to kind of leave a class like that and then come out here and see her furiously signing Michelle Wie bobbleheads.”
9:15: Reached by text message, she responds to
Stanford Daily reporter: “I don’t think I need to apologize for anything.
“But you can come to my birthday party, if you want.”
Posted: 10/14/2007
print
email
discuss
