Let me say first that there is nothing I enjoy more after writing this column every Sunday night than a 32 oz. bottle of either Fruit Punch or Lemon-Lime Gatorade. That new Lemonade flavor is also delightful. Come to think of it, there’s a 2-for-1 special going on at the Mobil station around the corner, which means I will probably go to bed tonight with enough electrolytes to power a U.S. Open merchandise tent.
Call me Gatorade Eric, loyalist to the orange lighting bolt, rejecter of the other -ades (but not Billy Andrade.)
Why the love?
I know Gatorade is there for me, whether I’m in Boston or Belgium, at 7-Eleven or around the seventh or 11th holes, depending when the cart girl shows up. I know that when this current Vitamin Water craze capsizes in the Barry Burn of life, Gatorade will still be there to answer this question:
“What can I have right now that isn’t water, milk, juice, coffee, tea or alcohol?”
Of course, I bring this up only because Tiger Woods’ endorsement deal with Gatorade was officially announced Tuesday, about a month after it was
first reported here on Golfweek.com.
“Gatorade has been part of my game plan for years whether I’m training or competing,” Woods said in a prepared statement, “so this is an ideal match.”
(Almost as good as John Daly and Hooters.)
The most interesting part of this week’s news was that Gatorade said it will introduce in March “Gatorade Tiger,” which will be available in cherry blend, citrus blend and grape flavors. (Other products are also in the pipeline.)
This leads to a few thoughts...• So, “Gatorade Tiger,” huh?
What was that meeting like?
“OK, Tiger Woods is on board. What are we going to call this thing? Boss says we have about 45 seconds to figure this one out, and it has to be better than Gatorade Xtremo Citrico Vibrante and Gatorade ESPN The Flavor. Ideas?”
“How about Tigerade?”
“Too obvious.”
“Majorade?”
“No.”
“Birdie brew?”
“No.”
“Gatorade Sundae?”
“No.”
“Green tee?”
“Eh...”
“Water from the Woods?”
“Anyone else?”
“Uhm, let’s see, it’s golf...Gatorade...Tiger...uhm...”
“Perfect, John. Perfect. ‘Gatorade Tiger’ it is. Meeting adjourned. I’ll see you guys tonight at Restaurant Food.”
• How in the name of Ben Hogan does Gatorade name a drink after Tiger and not Michael Jordan? I blame Woods, who should have realized the historical significance of all this before signing the dotted line.
As far as I’m concerned, there is no “I am Tiger Woods” if there is no “Be like Mike.”
I would bet a month’s salary against a tip Tiger left at a Starbucks counter that a younger Eldrick Woods sang the words “Like Mike, if I could Be Like Mike/I wanna be, I wanna be Like Mike/Oh, if I could Be Like Mike” at least once walking down a fairway.
(Definitely hitting up YouTube for that commercial in five minutes.)
So If I’m Tiger, I’m swooshin’ into Gatorade headquarters Monday morning and demanding the company release something similar to “Gatorade Jordan,” “Gatorade 23,” or “Air Gatorade” before anything with “Gatorade” and “Tiger” in the same title hits PGA Tour coolers.
Nike had this correct. Jordan had the Jumpman logo, and now Tiger has his “TW.”
Tigers cannot live without Air.
• Gatorade must abandon the “Is it
in you?” campaign when dishing out “Gatorade Tiger.”
Sure, there was a time when I thought Gatorade would make me jump a little higher, like Mike.
But I know it won’t do anything for my golf game. I’ve played plenty of golf pre- and post-Gatorade, and I still usually feel like I’m hitting Gatorade bottles out of Jell-O.
The last thing I want to see is the following commercial or magazine advertisement:
“It’s
in Tiger.
Is it
in you?”
No, of course it’s not. It if it was, Phil Mickelson would be throwing darts at a cardboard cutout of me right now.
How about this instead:
“It’s
on Tiger. [Followed by video or picture of Stevie Williams dumping a jug of Gatorade on Tiger on the 18th green at Augusta National.]
Is it
on you?”
I’m all for bringing the famous Gatorade shower across sports lines, and I don’t mind if Tiger leads the campaign. In fact, everyone at
Golfweek should take that as a warning:
Next time you break a killer story, come to work in a poncho.
Posted: 10/21/2007
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